Heal and Rebuild Your Marriage
After the Agony of an Affair
Thirty years ago, my wife Star and I rebuilt our marriage after infidelity. For over 15 years, we have helped hundreds of couples walk through their own affair recovery journey.
4.8 Stars on Google
4,000+ Couples Counseled
30+ Years of Restored Marriage
4.8 Stars on Google
4,000+ Couples Counseled
30+ Years of Restored MarriageTESTIMONIALS
Real Couples. Real Restoration.
Because of the sensitive nature of affair recovery, we protect our clients’ privacy. The following stories are real. The transformations are real. The names have been removed.
This is what redemption looks like. God takes what was meant to destroy and uses it to build something stronger. This is not a guarantee that your marriage will be saved…both spouses must choose healing. But it is proof that restoration is possible.
You Are Not Going Crazy. This Is Trauma.
Your marriage has been shattered by infidelity. Trust is broken, your world feels upside down, and you do not know what to do first or even if your marriage can survive this.
The intrusive thoughts, the mental movies, the triggers… they are relentless. You wonder if you are losing your mind. You are not. What you are experiencing is a normal response to betrayal trauma.
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Here is the truth: there is too much at stake (your marriage, your family, and your legacy) to risk figuring this out alone. We know the way through. And we will walk it with you.
I care because I've been there...
Over 30 years ago, my wife Star and I faced the same crisis you are facing now. Our marriage was in ashes after infidelity. I know the pain of betrayal. I know what it feels like to wonder if your marriage can survive.
But I also know what rebuilding looks like. Star and I did not just survive, we built a thriving marriage that is stronger than we ever imagined possible. We have six children who are living proof that restoration is real.
Watch our story:
Here is what I have learned: God does not waste pain. He redeems it. The same crisis that could destroy your marriage can become the catalyst for the deepest, most intimate marriage you have ever had. This may sound like wishful thinking right now, but this is what the Gospel has the power to do.
For the past 15+ years, we have walked alongside hundreds of couples through this same journey. I am not observing this from the outside…I sat in the chair where you are sitting. This gives me something most counselors cannot offer: empathy rooted in personal experience and authority built through years of helping couples heal.
My wife and I know the road from ground zero to a thriving marriage. We have walked it ourselves. And we will walk it with you.
As seen in...
“What Hans and Star share isn’t a bunch of tips and techniques. It’s a message about marriage that is anchored firmly in the profound reality of the gospel.”Â
– Bob Lepine | Former Co-Host, FamilyLife Today
“Hans brings together a unique mix of stories, a strong gospel-centered vision and theology of marriage, and practical strategies and opportunities for couples to connect.”
– Jason Kovacs, Executive Director of the Gospel Care Collective, Former Pastor of Counseling at Austin Stone Community Church
A Clear Path from Crisis to Restoration
SURVIVE
On your exploratory call, we'll spend 30 minutes together so I can understand your situation, provide some immediate relief, and answer any questions. No pressure. Just clarity about this program, and whether it is the right fit for you.
HEAL
Your personalized journey starts with a 2-day intensive to get to know you and dive deeper into your story. We'll begin to work through our proven 5 Pillars framework together, laying a strong foundation for your healing journey.
THRIVE
The remainder of the program consists of 11 weekly, 2 hour coaching sessions with Hans, homework assignments, and access to Hans for "911" calls, texts or emails. Begin to experience renewed trust, a real connection and build your Marriage 2.0.
The 5 Pillars: Your Roadmap from Ground Zero to Marriage 2.0
Over 15 years of walking with couples through affair recovery, we have learned that healing follows a pattern. The 5 Pillars framework gives you a clear, structured roadmap through the chaos. You will know exactly where you are and what comes next.
Pillar 1: TRUTH
Full Disclosure. Complete Honesty. No More Secrets.
Recovery cannot begin on a foundation of partial truth. Here is what we have learned: trickle truth, where details emerge over weeks or months, is one of the most destructive patterns in affair recovery.
You will complete a full disclosure process during your 2-day intensive, ensuring both of you are working from the same set of facts. This is painful. But it is the only path to real healing.
Pillar 2: TIME
Healing Cannot Be Rushed. Patience Is Essential.
Affair recovery operates on a timeline that cannot be compressed by willpower or good intentions. The betrayed spouse needs time to grieve, process, and rebuild trust. The unfaithful spouse needs time to demonstrate consistent change.
Here is what we have learned: recovery happens in three phases: SURVIVE, HEAL, and THRIVE. Understanding where you are in the journey helps you avoid the frustration of expecting faster progress than is healthy.
Pillar 3: TALK
Learn to Discuss Pain Productively Using the 5-Stage Comfort Framework
Most couples either avoid talking about the affair entirely or get trapped in destructive cycles of accusation and defense. Here is what we have learned: the right structure transforms conversations from battlegrounds into bridges.
The TALK pillar teaches our proprietary 5-Stage Comfort Framework: Understand, Validate, Mourn, Take Responsibility, Commit. You will practice this approach throughout the 12 weeks until it becomes second nature.
Pillar 4: TRUST
Trust Rebuilds Through Consistent Action Over Time, Not Words
Trust is not restored by apologies. Here is what we have learned: it is restored when the unfaithful spouse demonstrates sustained, transparent, accountable behavior over time.
This pillar provides a concrete framework for what trust rebuilding actually looks like in daily life. The unfaithful spouse learns what is required. The betrayed spouse learns to recognize genuine progress. Both learn to navigate setbacks without despair.
Pillar 5: THINK BACK
Learning from Marriage 1.0 to Build Marriage 2.0
The final pillar helps you examine the marriage that existed before the affair, not to assign blame, but to understand the dynamics and unmet needs that created vulnerability.
Here is what we have learned: your goal is not survival. It is not returning to what was. Your goal is building something stronger. You will learn to affair-proof your new marriage and create sustainable practices for long-term health.
How the 1-on-1 Affair Recovery Program Works
This is a 12-week intensive program personally led by me (Hans). Unlike traditional marriage counseling that can drag on for years with no clear roadmap, this program provides a structured path from surviving to thriving.
PHASE 1: Pre-Program Preparation
Before the 2-day intensive begins, both spouses complete critical preparation work. The unfaithful spouse prepares a full disclosure document. The betrayed spouse prepares an impact letter. I will personally walk each of you through this process. Here is why this matters: incomplete disclosure is one of the biggest obstacles to affair recovery. Proper preparation prevents the cycle of partial revelations that keeps couples stuck for months or years.
PHASE 2: The 2-Day Intensive
The program begins with a 2-day in-person intensive. The intensity and depth of this work, particularly the disclosure process, requires face-to-face connection.
Day 1: Deep Dive
- Comprehensive assessment of your unique situation and history
- Understanding the full scope of what happened and the impact on both of you
- Establishing the methodical and spiritual foundation for your 12-week journey
- Beginning to build trust between you and Hans as your guide
Day 2: Disclosure and Impact
- I personally walk you through sharing the full disclosure
- The betrayed spouse reads their impact letter
- Facilitated processing of the emotions that emerge
- This is typically the hardest and most transformative day of the entire program
- Establishing your personalized roadmap for the 11 weeks ahead
PHASE 3: Weekly Coaching Sessions
Weekly 2-Hour Sessions for 11 Weeks (virtual or in person)
Each session walks you through the 5 Pillars framework at a pace appropriate for your specific situation. Some couples move quickly through certain pillars and need more time on others. This personalized pacing is a key advantage of the 1-on-1 format.
Between sessions, you receive homework assignments and worksheets that reinforce what was covered and prepare you for the next session. Here is what we have learned: the couples who engage most actively with the homework consistently experience the fastest and deepest healing.
PHASE 4: Aftercare
After the 12-week program concludes, you have access to book additional, ongoing follow-up sessions with Hans. We recommend at least one session per month, though you can book as needed based on where you are in your recovery.
WHAT’S INCLUDED:
✓ Pre-program preparation and disclosure guidance
✓ 2-day in-person intensive in The Woodlands, TX
✓ 11 weekly 2-hour coaching sessions personally led by Hans
✓ Proprietary 5 Pillars framework tailored to your unique situation
✓ Homework assignments, worksheets, and practical tools
✓ Email, text and phone support between sessions
Why This Program Is Different from Anything Else Available
The Cost of Waiting
Without expert guidance, most couples either divorce or live in a cold, disconnected marriage for years. Research shows couples wait an average of 6 years before seeking counseling after problems begin. The longer you wait, the deeper the patterns become.
Here is the truth: time will not fix this. And there is too much at stake (your marriage, your family, your legacy) to risk doing this alone.
Frequently Asked Questions About the 1-on-1 Affair Recovery Program
Can a marriage really survive infidelity?
Yes, absolutely. While affair recovery is one of the most challenging journeys a couple will face, marriages can not only survive but become stronger after infidelity when both partners commit to healing.
At Marriage Revolution, we have helped hundreds of couples rebuild trust and create thriving, Christ-centered marriages after infidelity. Hans and Star’s own 32-year restored marriage and six children are living proof that restoration is possible.
How long does it take to heal from an affair?
The 12-week program provides the intensive foundation for healing and equips you with essential tools for rebuilding trust. This foundation is crucial – and is one of the biggest predictors for how the rest of your healing journey will go. From what we have learned from walking with hundreds of couples, full healing from infidelity typically takes around 18 months, depending on individual circumstances. Our program is structured to lay a strong foundation for you to build your marriage 2.0. Â
Our program follows the three-phase timeline:
• SURVIVE: Crisis stabilization, safety, full disclosure
• HEAL: Processing trauma, rebuilding trust, communication
• THRIVE: Affair-proofing, deepening intimacy, sustained growth
The structured approach helps you make meaningful progress much faster than trying to heal alone or through general marriage counseling.
What if only one spouse wants to do the program?
The program works best when both spouses participate and are committed to healing. However, we understand that in the immediate aftermath of an affair, one partner may be hesitant, resistant, or unsure.
During your free exploratory call, Hans will discuss your specific situation honestly and help you determine the best path forward, whether that is starting with both spouses, one spouse beginning the work, or waiting until both are ready.
Is this program only for Christian couples?
Our approach integrates biblical principles with counseling best practices. We are Christ-centered counselors who believe the Gospel is essential for true transformation in marriage.
However, we welcome couples of all faith backgrounds who are open to our faith-integrated approach. We have worked with couples at various stages of their spiritual journey, from deeply committed Christians to those just beginning to explore faith.
Do I have to travel to The Woodlands, TX?
Initially, yes. Your 2-day intensive must be done in person at our location in The Woodlands, Texas. The intensity and depth of this work, particularly the disclosure process, requires face-to-face connection. However, your weekly 2-hour sessions with Hans can be done virtually.Â
How much does the program cost?
The investment for the complete 12-week program is discussed during your free exploratory call, where Hans will walk you through what is included and answer any questions about fit and feasibility.
What we can tell you is this: at 32+ hours of direct coaching time personally led by Hans – plus a proprietary curriculum, personalized roadmap, and ongoing support – this program is priced competitively with other specialized intensive programs in the market.Â
The average cost of a divorce with children is $23,500; without children, it is $15,600.Â
Additionally, the emotional toll of a divorce on you, your spouse, your children, your family, and even your friends should not be underestimated.
Our program is priced significantly lower than both of these numbers.
What makes this different from regular marriage counseling?
Affair recovery requires specialized protocols that differ significantly from general marriage counseling.
This program specifically addresses:
• Betrayal trauma and PTSD-like symptoms in the betrayed spouse
• Proven trust rebuilding frameworks (not just “talk about your feelings”)
• Full disclosure process to eliminate trickle truth
• Intrusive thoughts management and somatic regulation
• Affair-proofing strategies to prevent future infidelity
• The unique dynamics of accountability and transparency
Hans has specialized training and over 14 years of focused experience in affair recovery, not just general marriage issues. This specialization, combined with his personal experience rebuilding his own marriage, makes all the difference.
How does the exploratory call work?
The exploratory call is a free 30-minute conversation with Hans where he:
• Listens to your situation and understands what you are facing
• Provides some immediate relief and perspective (this builds trust)
• Answers your questions about the program
• Together with you, determines if the program is the right fit
• If it is, explains next steps and enrollment
There is no pressure. This is a conversation, not a sales pitch. Some couples leave the call deciding to enroll. Others need time to think. Both are completely fine.
What happens after the 12 weeks end?
After the program concludes, you have access to book ongoing follow-up sessions with Hans. We recommend at least one session per month for continued support, though you can book as needed based on where you are in your recovery.
Many couples continue check-ins monthly or quarterly for a year or more. The tools you learn in the 12 weeks are yours for life, and the follow-up sessions provide accountability and guidance as you continue building your new marriage.
Free Affair Recovery Resources
Not ready to book a call yet? Start your healing journey with these free resources.
There is Hope For Your Marriage!
Take the first step of healing today.
Click the button below to book your 30-minute exploratory call.
Together, we can discuss the best path forward for you, your marriage, and your family.
