The only reason Star and I didn’t get a divorce after being married for only 2 short years is because we didn’t have the money. Thankfully, God worked a miracle in our relationship and now we’ve been married for over 20 years.
There is absolutely no logical reason that Star and I should have made it. We were both living a life far away from God and did not have what it takes to have a successful marriage. That’s what makes what God did in our relationship so incredible.
God literally raised our marriage from the dead.
And, notice who did the raising. Hint…it wasn’t us.
God initiated, gave us the power, gave us a plan, and gave us the motivation for change to take place in our relationship.
Are you getting it?
Am I being clear?
God resurrected our marriage!
It started with Him, is being sustained by him, and will be completed by Him.
This is important for every married couple to recognize, but for the couple (or spouse) who is working at making their marriage everything God wants it to be, and is fighting to stay far away from being one of the 50% that end up divorced, it is especially important as you decide how you go about, “Divorce Proofing” your marriage.
Since God truly does, “…hold all things together” (Col 1:17), wouldn’t it make sense that the most significant thing you can do to protect your marriage is to ask him for help?
What I’m talking about is PRAYING TOGETHER.
Star and I have personally experienced that praying together is one of the most significant things you can do to build intimacy.
If you’re just getting started praying together, you might want to check out my previous post and then come back to this one in a few weeks. But if you’re ready to take it to the next level, read on!
A great model for for us to consider is the Lord’s prayer. See below for some suggestions:
The Lord’s Prayer for Your Marriage
Matthew 6:9-13
Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name (Husband)
- “Help us have an increasing awareness of your love, power, and knowledge, and to rest knowing that you are in control of every detail of our lives.” Dan 4:34-35
- “I pray we would admire, value, and protect the reputation of your name through the way we think about, speak with, and act towards you and each other.”
Your Kingdom Come, your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven (Wife)
- “Lord, help us to recognize, trust, and surrender to your personal plan for our lives and give us the courage, faith, and power to pursue that plan in our marriage, in our work, in our relationships, and in our ministry to others.” Jer 29:11-12, Luke 22:42
- “Help us to see that everything we’re going through right now is an opportunity to partner with you to accomplish your redemptive plan for all creation to make us more like Christ and to make all things new.” Rom 8:29, Rev 21:5
Give us this day our daily bread (Husband)
- “We need you God! We need you in every area of our lives. Thank you for providing for us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Thank you for giving us each other as an essential means to meet our needs. Help us to receive each other as your gift. And most importantly, thank you for the spiritual blessings you have given us in Christ: forgiveness, salvation, righteousness, the Holy Spirit, and eternal life. Protect us from being self-sufficient and from trying to meet our needs in illegitimate ways. You are the source of everything we need. Provide Lord Jesus, provide!” Phil 4:29, Eph 1:3-14, 2:8-9, 2 Cor 5:21
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors (Husband and Wife)
- “Make us aware of our sin quickly so that we can confess to You and the ones we’ve sinned against so we don’t give the devil a foothold or allow a root of bitterness to develop between us.” Psalm 139:23-24, Eph 4:26-27, Hebrews 12:14-15
- “God, I confess that I have sinned primarily against you by loving and serving myself before you and my spouse. (Take turns specifically confessing to God and each other) 1 John 1:9, James 5:16
- “Thank you God for your forgiveness, and help me to have an increasing awareness of my need for your forgiveness on a daily basis.” 2 Peter 1:5-9
- “As we become more aware of the depth of your forgiveness for us, help us to be more willing to freely forgive each other.” Eph 4:32
Lead us not into temptation (Husband)
- “Help us to recognize and reject the temptation of finding satisfaction in pursuing worldly treasures and lusts: sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissentions, factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like. Help us to find our ultimate satisfaction in you alone.” Gal 5:19-21, Psalm 90:14, Psalm 84:10
Deliver us from evil (Wife)
- “Help us to remember that our greatest struggle in our marriage is inside each of us, not outside of us, and you are the only one that can deliver us.” Jer 17:9, Romans 6:1-14, Eph 2:8-9
- “Thank you that no amount of evil we experience in our marriage is bigger than the grace you offer us to overcome it” 1 Cor 10:13
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever, Amen. (Husband)
- “Help us to recognize everything that you allow in our life (for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health) is an opportunity to Glorify you. Help us to love each other as you love us. As we do, I pray our marriage becomes a desirable picture of your love to a lost and broken world and draws people to come to know you. We are your ambassadors, individually, and in our marriage. We love you. Help us to remember that our ultimate satisfaction and hope is found in you, not each other. Help us to realize our marriage exists because of you and is for you…for your glory. Amen.” 1 Cor 10:31, Eph 5:1-2, 2 Cor 5:16-20
Hans co-founded Marriage Revolution with his wife, Star, in 2010. He counsels couples in The Woodlands, TX, speaks at marriage conferences around the country, and provides leadership and direction to Marriage Revolution.
