What does it look like to love your wife? Appreciate her, respect her, support her, etc… Yes to all these things. But, one of the most significant ways you can love her is to PRAY for her.
Here’s a list to get you started.
- Pray for her work inside and outside of your home, that God would “establish the work of [her] hands” for His own renown (Psalm 90:17).
- Thank God for His careful craftsmanship of your wife that she contributes to her home, ministry, and world. Ask Him to infuse your wife with diligence, strength, and humility in all she does (Proverbs 31:10-31).
- Pray for her relationships with her family: that she would thoughtfully, intentionally build relationships with them, and honor her father and mother (Exodus 20:12).
- Thank God for the solid mentors and friends in her life, who build her, care for her, give wisdom, and provide accountability.
- Pray for her friendships, that she would seek and meaningfully receive relationships with godly women who will surround her with true fellowship (1 John 1,Titus 2:3-8).
- Thank God for the specific ways your wife complements you relationally, and the holy beauty she adds to your life.
- Pray for her management of finances: that she would have and utilize wisdom, discernment, generosity, and wise stewardship for the sake of your family and God’s kingdom.
- If you have children, thank God for the ways your wife parents them in healthy ways, shepherding and caring for them as Jesus does (Psalm 23). Thank God for the strength, wisdom, and capability she shows in this area.
- Pray for your wife’s motherhood, and other areas where she’s nurturing members of God’s church or others who need a shepherd. Ask God for her wisdom, strength, and joy in serving and sacrificing (Ephesians 5:25-28; 1 Peter 5:2-4). Pray that she would vigilantly guide them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
- Pray for her mouth: that she would be protected from gossip and complaining, and would let no corrupting talk come out of her mouth. Pray that she would only speak words that build up, as fits each occasion, so that she can give grace to everyone who hears (Ephesians 4:29).
- Pray for her ability to “see” your children, discerning their strengths, weaknesses, desires, needs, gifts, and spirits. Pray for her wisdom to faithfully shepherd them as God does; her loving, diligent care for them; her patient, godly discipline of them; and her relentless pursuit of their hearts (Deuteronomy 6:4-8; Psalm 103:13, Ephesians 6:4).
- Thank God for the areas of intimacy you experience with your wife, and pray that God will unify the two of you even further, as He desires that you are one as the Trinity is one (John 17:11). Pray that both of you will have courage to stand against the threats and obstacles to your oneness (Song of Solomon 2:15-16).
- Pray for your wife’s protection: physically; emotionally; mentally; spiritually; for her sexual purity of thought, heart, body, and mind (1 Corinthians 6:18-20); and for the protection of your marriage.
- Thank God for your wife’s gifts and strengths, and ask God that those would be wholly His (1 Corinthians 12:4-7). Ask Him for wisdom to be an advocate for her and her time and talents.
- Pray for her specific areas of weakness, that God’s power might be made perfect there (2 Corinthians 12:9-10), and that your wife might be “more than a conqueror” in areas of repeated sin (Romans 8:37).
- Ask God to continue to set before your wife His perception of holy beauty, calling her up to it (Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-5). Pray that she would be singularly focused upon fearing Him, and not distracted by any way the world attempts to threaten her identity in Him.
- Pray for her relationship with God, that she would sense God’s powerful presence and consistently experience thriving, intimate walk with Him. Pray that she would love God with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37-39).
- Pray for her prayer life: that she would keep in vibrant, faith-filled step with the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-25), believing God for His promises (Hebrews 11:1,6), having a heart full of gratitude, and wholeheartedly trusting God with every prayer and petition (Philippians 4:6-7).
- Thank God for His constant guidance and shepherding of your life’s teammate, and for His love and gentle care of your wife.
- Pray for her time management: that she would know and choose the good works God has prepared in advance for her to do (Ephesians 2:10); that she would make the most of every opportunity (Ephesians 5:16); that she would, full of faith, choose rest; that she would love well with her time and energy.
- Thank God for your marriage, and for this journey you’ve crafted together (Mark 10:7-9). Thank God for some of the great memories you have with her.
- Pray for her mind: that she would think on whatever is true, noble, right, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Pray that God would generously give her wisdom (James 1:5), and lead her into more knowledge of Himself (Philippians 1:9-11).
- Thank God for the things in your relationship that are going right, and the things your wife does well. Thank God for His immaculate plan for this woman.
- Pray for her courage (Joshua 1:9): to flee from temptation; to pursue relationships; to persevere in difficulty; to respond kindly and truthfully. Ask God for thoughtful attentiveness for her and a servant’s heart, rather than focusing on self.
- Ask God to profoundly mark each of your wife’s relationships with grace and the power of forgiveness.
- Pray for your wife’s dedication to God’s Word: that she will feel compelled to meditate on it, memorize it, know God through it, apply it, and be changed from the heart by it.
- If your wife has salvation, praise God for this unspeakable gift of eternal life. If not, praise God that salvation belongs to her, and that He has the power and knowledge to get ahold of your wife’s soul (Revelation 7:10).
- Pray for your wife’s soul-level satisfaction in God. God knows the “holes” in your wife’s heart that can only be filled by God and her love—the Living Water through which she’ll never thirst again (Jeremiah 2:13).
- Thank God for your wife’s love and care for you. [If you don’t feel this or believe this to be true in your marriage, thank God for His love that never fails, and who sees you.]*
- Pray for your wife’s areas of stress: that he would have godly wisdom, holy strength, unshakable faith, and pervasive peace.
- Pray for your wife’s husband: that you would be a strong, life-giving leader of a servant’s heart, godly wisdom, and sanctifying, sacrificial care. Ask Him for wisdom to love her well (Ephesians 5:25-33).
*Note: Perhaps you’re in a marriage where you’ve experienced deep pain, rejection, and/or isolation from your wife, whether she is or is not a Christian. Maybe your spouse doesn’t seem to serve or appreciate you. May God give you indescribable courage, comfort, and help in that painful place of giving thanks in all circumstances, and hear your faith-filled prayers for her! Our God is the God who sees.