Romance (n): 1. a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
- Scent your bed sheets. Scatter a few flower petals over them in the evening…and suggest flipping off the TV for some “alternate entertainment.”
- If you’re not the normal dish-doer between the two of you, wash them.
- Set a “touch goal”: How many times can your fingers linger on his back, or rest on her knee? Can you rub her shoulders when you walk in the door? Run your fingers through his hair?
- Make your marriage a budget item. Start planning for a getaway, however small. Sparing the cost of a cup of good coffee for each of you once a week might make a good start for a decent vacation in a year!
- Ask God for romance in your marriage—and that He’d open your eyes to practical solutions…maybe even change your heart. He set aside a whole book of the Bible for it. It’s a priority for Him, too.
- Create a playlist of songs that communicate the depth of your affection.
- Rub your mate’s feet after a long day.
- Make or buy chocolate-covered strawberries, and a glass of something bubbly to go with it. Set it on a table in the bedroom as a surprise.
- Perfect the art of the massage with each other. This takes a lot of honest communication, and a genuine desire to learn. (Er, not unlike other elements of romance.)
- Raid your pantry, and transfer a few key items (chocolate sauce, perhaps?) to the bedroom.
- Write a love letter, address it to your spouse, and stick it in the mail.
- Take a walk together.
- On a night when the kids are out—or when you’ve hired a babysitter—make your spouse’s favorite dishes (or order them in!), add some candles, and perfect the classic candlelight dinner. Don’t forget dessert (ahem).
- On your way home, stop the car and pick a bouquet of flowers.
- Comb your wife’s hair.
- Identify what steals the romance in your marriage, and pray about their remedy. Then talk—and act—about what you can do to protect your relationship.
- Start a conversation with, “Remember when we…?”
- Are your underwear, or your spouse’s, in worse condition than your car? Consider a sexy replacement. For the underwear.
- Paint your wife’s toenails. Even if you aren’t an expert, there’s a chance that the fun may be worth it. (You shouldn’t need a dropcloth.)
- Remove your undergarments. ‘Nuff said.
- Grab your spouse’s favorite snack or drink on your trip to the store.
- Make love in a different room.
- Dim the lights, plug in “your song”, and dance a little in the dark.
- Leave that text, e-mail, sticky note, or voicemail that shows how much you respect your partner for life—and how glad you are that they’re yours.
Author’s note: Perhaps you’re reading this with a deep-seated sense of loss, anger, or alienation. You might find yourself desperately alone, or unreciprocated, in what you wish was your most intimate relationship on earth. May we gently, compassionately acknowledge you: Jesus, too, gave profoundly without receiving mutually. We’re praying that God gives you particular strength, wisdom, and grace as you work toward loving your spouse like He loved us, pursuing us when we insulted and rejected Him. God sees you (Genesis 21:15-21).