Communication is an essential part of any relationship, especially marriage!
Maybe you’ve heard the cliché’, “You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, use proportionately.” I couldn’t agree more. Tedd Tripp puts it like this:
“The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts. It is learning how to draw out the thoughts of another.”
Your mission tonight is to draw out the thoughts of your spouse.
Ready? Let’s go…
DINNER DATE DISCUSSION
- Together, decide where you’re going for dinner. Maybe a place you’ve never tried before?
- On the way to dinner, rate the communication in your marriage. Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually.
- Before dinner, ask each other what your most memorable meal was together and explain why. Reminisce. Don’t skimp on the details! Can’t remember one or want another one? Start making plans now!
- Ask each other, “What attribute would you like me to help you develop in yourself?” and then ask, “How?” Discuss.
- Ask each other, “What 2-3 things can I do to improve the communication in our marriage?”
Go somewhere a little more private and tell each other 3 things you love about one another. Give specific examples of each.
Ok, date time is almost done and we’ve saved the most important component of communication for last.
You’ll probably want to do this in a somewhat private place or possibly in the car. And no…it’s not sex (yet)!
It will be tempting to skip this part, but please don’t. Take each other by both hands take turns saying a prayer like this to God:
“God, I need you to help me be a better communicator in my marriage. Help me to be honest and transparent when we talk together and help me listen and understand what ____________ is saying.”
Now…Start kissing each other on your way home at a red light or stop sign. And don’t stop…until someone behind you honks! Give a friendly wave, and be on your way.
- Pick up your kids and explain that bed time is going to be quick tonight because Mommy and Daddy are “tired”
- Put on some romantic music and turn the lights down low
- Light some candles
- Enjoy the gift of sex with your spouse.
- Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!
- Sleep good.
Hans co-founded Marriage Revolution with his wife, Star, in 2010. He counsels couples in The Woodlands, TX, speaks at marriage conferences around the country, and provides leadership and direction to Marriage Revolution.